Grandpa Bob

On Christmas Day, Aspen received a phone call that her grandfather had collapsed at home and was taken to the hospital. Later that evening, we found out that he was expected to have only a few days further to live. His kidneys were shutting down, which could not be rectified.
We drove the next day to Gunnison, to be with him and the family in the hospital.

After three days in the hospital, in essentially 24 hour shifts, Bob passed away.
Just after midnight, with six of us in the room, he drew his last breath. We watched. We cried.
I've known many people who have died. I've seen one die before my eyes. I didn't know him.
This one I did. This was a first. This is something I will hold in my memory for the rest of my days.

God Bless you Bob Watters.

Crossroads.
We all have them... from time to time.
Guess they wouldn't be crossroads if the path to take was clear-cut, now would they?
Do I keep working the type of job that I do now, a field that I do enjoy... or do I move into something that would provide me with the traditional hours and schedule I so desire?
I'm so tired of always being tired. I'm tired of working weekends, I'm tired of working holidays. I'm tired of the 24/7/365 potential. However, in any field that captures my interest... those are the hours.
Do I go and do something mind numbing just so I can have the hours I want?
Oh, what to do... what to do.

My boss quit this week. Suddenly. No notice. Or maybe it was mutual between him and the company. I'm just not certain. Suffice to say... now I'm much more worried than I ever was before. Dave has shielded me from a lot, particularly in the past year. There are so many reasons that I'm un (or at least "under") qualified for my job, and he has done a good job of blurring that fact from others. That protection is now gone. Honestly, I'll be surprised if I still have a job by the end of the year.
Beyond that... a real shame to see him go. Just as bad as when Don, the one who actually hired me, lost his job a year and a half ago. I consider these people friends... and hate to see them move out of my life. So many people have been moving out of my life lately... far more than any new ones moving in.

Sometimes I really miss my friend. Tonight is one of those times.
Treasure those you love - you never know when circumstances will take them out of your life forever.

Damn snowy day...
Damn car broke down and had to be towed to the mechanic...
Gonna be damn expensive.
This after spending $500 on the truck just last week for a new catalytic converter.
Damn this has been an expensive year for our vehicles...
Damn snowy day.
Damn I'm tired.
But... at least I have Friday off!!

It's interesting how one person can tell you what a horrible friend you are, while another tells you just the opposite. Of course, the first friend in question is shallow and unrealistic... guess it speaks to a pattern, doesn't it?

Do you ever wonder what might have been? I do. I am.
Is this all? Is this it?
Geez, is this a mid-life crisis or what?

Why is it that when you have nothing but the best of intentions, everything blows up in your face? Those you try to help (often at THEIR request) end up being the ones to shut you out. Tends to make you not want to lend a helping hand... to anyone... ever.

So many times I've wondered "what would happen if I could go back" to an earlier time... right now, that earlier time would be about six months... before I convinced one of my best friends to move to Colorado. Before that subsequent move eventually caused the loss of our friendship. Before my wife tried to help out a friend with a car. Before that become a $16000 mistake.

Why help, if the only result is your own personal pain, grief, and suffering?
Life is too short.